Sorry for not posting in a really long time...was kinda busy...if you wanna know what did I do in the past week go read Bradley's blog. Today I'm going to compose a poem. I don't know whether its better or worse than the previous one...though I know Bradley is going to criticise it. AGAIN. Anyway I hope all of you had a great time at Keeve's party... wishing I myself was there but then again...sigh. The above sentence is a hint on what the poem is about.


____________________________________________________
Invidia

I remember

ego memor

the good times we had together

bonus vicis nos una

The fun and laughter

and the joy.

Oh the memories

oh monumentum

makes me smile ; laugh.

planto mihi smile ; rideo risi risum

I cannot forget

the good times.

But soon

tamen nunc

it will disappear.

mos evanui

No more smiles.

Just plain hatred.

It pulled us apart.

is traho nos seorsum

It destroyed my life.

is pessum ire meus vita

Lies; deceit; pain

Teardrops flow.

I broke every bridge I ever built

ego infractus sulum pontus ego umquam crux crucis

I threw myself into depression.

ego conicio mihi in cavum

No friends; no one to speak to.

Life has lost its meaning for me.

But alas, a glimmer of hope;

Tamen vae a subluceo of spes

I took the chance

cepi chance

Improved myself ; started life anew.

I could carry on living again.

Now that I've come this far,

Iam ut ego have adveho is recedentia

Piecing back together relationships.

piecing tergum una affinitas

But I realise

It will never be the same again.

It is hatred.

Pure hatred.

Infidia.

Nothing will be the same again.

Forever.

And ever.

And ever.

________________________________________________

LOL how was it? Don't worry Shanisse its not because of you that I wrote this poem. Its much longer than the one I wrote previously, so enjoy!

Labels: keeve's party, poem

Ok I got permission rights from LM to post this. It's the quiz HOW OLD DO YOU ACT. Let's see how old do I act...

HOW OLD DO YOU ACT?
Put an X in the ones you do, then add it up and that's your age!
[x] I know how to cook toast - sure. I like it with a thick layer of margarine.
[x] I can do my own laundry. - yes, but I haven't done it in a really long time...
[x] I can cook for myself. - only instant noodles/eggs/some dishes. Trying to learn how to cook steak...
[ ] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations. - No. I prefer those that are funny and mostly revolving aroung gossips...
[x] I show up for school MOST of the time unless I'm sick - Duh. Not sick then what?
[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse - No I'm not a geek...
[x] I've never gotten a detention. - I'm been goody-two shoes, so I don't think I have detention before...
[x] I've watched talk shows. - Only when I'm really bored. Oprah Winfrey?
[ ] I drink coffee at least once a week. - I like it, but I only drink it like once every three weeks?
[x] I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes. - routine household chore. Got to do it everyday.
[x] I can count to 5 in either Spanish/French /German/Italian/etc. - Japanese. Until 99. Wanna learn?
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it. - I will do it.
[ ] I can mow the lawn. - I leave that to my dad.
[ ] I remember to water my plants. - I leave that to my dad too. He's the garderner.
[x] I study when I HAVE to. - Yes. I don't want to fail my exams.
[x] I pay attention at school. - I guess so. Most of the time.
[ ] I remember to feed my pets - Haha. I'm guilty of this.
[x] I can spell experience without looking it up. - yup....
[ ] The first thing I do when i get home is eat. - No! Read the papers! LOL...
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need. - I don't usually buy what I don't need. Unless it's a reward for myself or somthing like that...
[ ] I understand jokes the first time they are said. - Nope. I'm not that smart. I usually take a long time to understand stuff.
[ ] I can type fast - Medium.
[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour - Yes. I mean the newspapers say so. Don't believe go check.
[x] I realize that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job - Agree. They will take you as a kid.
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it - Most people can do this.
[ ] I knew that the alphabet and twinkle twinkle little star have the same rythym - No. Let me go check....
[x] You just checked - Hey, its exactly the same! Maybe mozart and the creator of that ABC song know each other...
[ ] I noticed rhythm is spelled wrong - No. I don't notice this stuff. LOL...
[x] You actually watch the weather - When I'm bored yes. I see the clouds turning into monsters and stuff.

I act like a 18 year old? So? Not as matured as Shanisse, but more matured than Limin. LOL. But this quiz doesnt really prove that you are matured or not. So I might not be as matured as this quiz puts me out to be...

I changed my blogskin. Yes I have been procrastinating and have been putting it off for a long time. So comments? I expect Bradley to go 'Nic Oh, ur skin sucks like s*** man.' Go on Bradley. I won't be insulted.

Well Sunday had been horrible. If any of you guys know what is severe food poisoning and experienced it before I think you know what I mean. I started the day well with the movie 'Ironman' [I am expecting to hear 'IT SUCKS' from someone...]. OK personally i liked it. It was about a guy who got kidnapped by terrorists in Afgfanistan (Or whatsoever) and finds out it was his partner in buisness who set him up and tries to kill him...assasinate lah. So the final scene was the guy who was a great engineer who built this 'Iron suit' to escape from the terrorists fights with his partner and of cos the good guy won. So I left the show, and went with my dad to the petrol kiosk to get some snacks. And before long at dinner I started vomiting and having diarrhoea and no appetite and I had a severe headache and was super giddy. So my dad brought me to the doctor and guess what it was. A stomach infection. Perfect. When I had school the next day. So i spent the whole night vomiting and having diarrhoea and could not drink/eat anything at all or I wuld vomit it out and blah.

So next morning I didn't go to school. But was seriously much better. No vommiting. Just frequent diarrhoea and headaches. Urgh. So I spent the whole day playing games and watching TV and other stuff.

OK then this morning I was well enough to go to school. So I had a perfectly fine day until after recess. When Mdm may lee was like asking 'Who wants to refill water help me refill' so Of course me and some other volunteered [just nice I needed to refill] so Mdm Lee was like saying , "I must choose sumone who doesn't spit into my water" and Bradley was laughing like xiao. So she picked me lah because I was the Assistant Head Prefect and do you know WHAT THE HECK THAT BRADLEY SAY BEFORE I WENT??? Hello he said ," Don't forgot to fill it with urine. The it would be awesome. You could say, hey Mdm Lee, I brought you lemonade." As if. I wouldn't dare. I mean hey Bradley if you got the guts why don't you go do it yourself. I see what you mean by giving her LEMONADE. And see what Mdm Lee says.

Nothing else to post. Oh yes. Shanisse and I made up lah...only to friends. No sick jokes please K and hello only FRIENDS? Later I think I'm going to rip somrthign from LM's blog which is from Annabelle's blog. Let me go ask for permission rights...

Labels: blogskin, bradley, mdm lee, movie, refill water, school, sick

The holidays have comed. Appparently the teachers do not understand the meaning of holiday. Now, I have tons of assesment books and HW piled on my table and is wondering how am I going to enjoy this holiday. **Sigh**. So now since I'm bored to death, let me post some pics of myself...



LOL This is my MSN Display pic now.... for those who cant se the words clearly on MSN its Emo Boy...



Me! In Niagara Falls! 2006, when I was in P4. My ex-display pic on MSN!



This was the poster Han Wei created for my Head Prefect Elections. Welll, How do you find it? Of cos I went to make another one but its only a little better than this...



LOL This is my sis's ex-best friend Cheryl. Quite small, but she is not to be looked down upon. She's the master of a few cunning strategies to help my sis defeat her enemies.

I've got nothing else to post...LOL...better get back to my homework..bye!

P/S - I've started labelling my posts. Feel free to use the labels to navigate...

Labels: Holidays, Pictures, Teachers

I decided to take the Personality Disorder Test since Bradley took it and decided o try it out to see whether its correct at its prediction...so here are the results....

Paranoid 62% High
Schizoid 26% Low
Schizotypal 34% Low
Antisocial 54% Moderate
Borderline 74% Very High
Histrionic 46% Moderate
Narcissistic 18% Low
Avoidant 22% Low
Dependent 50% Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive 58% High

Oh man. The results are correct. Way correct. X'cept for the part on Narcissistic. My self-esteem is defitenitely at its lowest ever since I realised I've been way arrogant. Defitenitely.

Paranoid. Yup. Something I read too much into what people do. I take even the simplest of stuff really hard and you know even a slight comment can hurt me. I'm sensitive to what people say, but not many people know that.

Schizoid & Schizotypal. I want close relationships. I want people to understand me. I want friends but in the end ends up with chasing them away (Quoted from Shanisse : When there's Nic Oh, there's the pathetic side of him trying to make friends)[agreed].

Antisocial. Yah. I sometimes let my guard down and say really hurting comments about others. But when I realise it (Like in LM's case. I only let my guard to stop commenting without thinking and as such...) it's often too late.

Borderline. Way correct. I think I'm too revealing, if you get what I mean. Show my emotions too often. I can't hide it at all. And nowadays I keep on getting overwhelming emotions....oh man. Am I sinking into depression?

Hey. Histrionic. That's suppossed to be my highest. I mean here's what it says : individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered. See? Emo? Irritating cauz i'm interferring with thier affairs (Shanisse & LM)? Overeact = reading into things too much? Remember the confrontation matter JH & RC? There where I overeacted.(I'm sorry that I've overeacted and accused you wrongly liao lah...) And LM and Shanisse perceived me as shallow and self-centred.... If you know who I really am, I'm really not like that. Oh man. Sh**. This is the MAIN personality disorder that causes me to lose my friends. I've gotta get rid of it. And fast.

Avoidant too. Over sensitive to stuff. That's me. Shanisse knows what I mean by over-sensitive...

Dependent? That's supposed to be lower. I'm not that dependent...

OK. Final one. Obssessive - Compulsive. Yes. I mean I'm trying to make myself fit in with the whole, but then the Histrionic disorder takes place from there. Do you know how horrible is it to be left out? Not able to fit in? All because of yourself? Sigh. Maybe I deserve it...I don't know...

Conclusion: I have too many personality disorders liao. Got to change it FAST....

OK I'm back. Let me start off from where I ended on the last post...

So of course I went into Robotics in an angry and bad mood. But, the scene of Wei Yang's ingenious program of a crazy backdancing line-tracking robot cheered me up and the news of we getting into the 'Build an icon of Singapore' competition made me rejoyced. BUT. Bradley apparently chose the icon of 'Merlion' so....a merlion with rainbowed-coloured Lego bricks? No, I can't picture that in my mind. Most likely it's going to be a BIG mess of bricks and a horrible looking lump....

So then of course I went home. So now I'm going to write a poem. Ok Bradley and shanisse it will never be as nice as yours OK? I admit defeat LOL. I got the inspiration of this poem on my way home.

--------------------------
The Girl

I clambered up the bus
Sweaty; Hot; Flustered
Threw myself against a corner of the bus
Reflecting on the things that I did that day
Then suddenly, out of the blue
I saw her.
The distinct face appeared so familiar
But yet so heart-wrenching
Her fringe hair was fluttering in the warm wind
She was wearing a solemn smile
As she walked against the pavement
Sun beams shining down on her
She looked so beautiful
In the eyes; In the heart
I found a warmth of some sort in my heart
Then realised what it was.
The power of love.
I still loved her
After what we have been through
So much; it left me in pain
It made me lose some of my friends
My brain was screaming at me to detest her
But deep down in my heart
I still loved her
After so much.
So much.

-------------------------

LOL was it too emo??? I bet so. I'm known for my reputation as an emo freak. Well. Its true. I'm emotionally unstable. So I'm back home blogging and listening to music. How much I wish we could turn back time, right to the beginning of the year, where I was so innocent and was living in my goldfish world then.....

Hey people! I'm back. LOL. Sorry I've haven't been posting for a long time bcauz I don't feel like it and was too busy playing com games! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D LOL. A lot of things did happen today so let me go through the day detail by detail (For your information, I don't have any good days anymore....).

Came to school just to hear a lecture by Zhu Cheng on the soccer league....All I have to say is Zhu Cheng started the soccer league without confirming 3 missing team slots AND is really disorganised....he just handpicked the referees today...and I can't do anything bcauz I'm a payer...ZZZZzzzzz....if I were him I'll make sure I've everything done first before I start.....

Then we had a really interesting lesson by Mdm Teo on adaptations. We spent most of the time in the IT resource room watching videos & Magic School Bus.....AT LEAST this was not a normal old boring Science Lesson.....

Then it was English. Well. There was nothing on Friedrich at all...all Mrs Goh did was filing and some admin matters and a briefing on the IT Compo thingy (Can't remember its name... :P) which we have to pay $20...SO EX!!! Not like I'm an ATM right!!!!

Then we went for recess, where my day got super worse....apparently during soccer I luan(4) shou(3) luan(4) jiao(3)....miss my shoots and blah blah blah....I felt so angry at myself....

OK then it was NE Quiz. The class was cursing the robots in the game /or the lasers that immobilized us and wasted our time....some of the questions I just tikam tikam one....then I GOT COLONEL. Yeah! With a score of 12140. With a few more question I could have gotten GENERAL...And of course I tried really hard not to boast but my brain 'disobeyed' my heart and of course I soon found myself in a state of arrogance again...I've woken up.....BUT it's really hard to change who you are after you've been like that for so long....

Afterwards was Math. The class was unusually quiet as Mdm Lee had sort of flared up so the atmosphere was quite tense...and it was when I discovered Tee Yong had brought two cute little fishes to school...except that they looked like suckerfish!!! But It's quite nice especially of Tee Yong to bring it.....seeing that the experience of the smell of decomposing organisms was still lingering...so it was quite a change to have organisms that were living. LOL.

After school I did HW with Bradz at the library and then we were forced to evacuate it and find a desolate corner in the library as people were doing something like Listening Comprehension in the middle...surprised that it was still open...AND then when we were going to Robotics I stepped past the girls from Media Club and Limin practically shoutd in my ear, "Nick Oh YOU SUCK!" And just to 'please' her and seeing that I was already in a bad mood at that time I practically shouted at her that "Fine! I Suck and I know it!" (Which is true bcauz I know that I suck!) And then when to throw away the can I was holding and came back and DID YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHE SAID! "I didn't say you suck OK??? I was referring to 'blah' that her English exam resuls suck!" Ok then I got really pissed off as I hate people who try to lie even after they know that the person already knew the truth. And I replied, "I know that I suck. I heard with my own ears that it was me." And of course since I didn't want to be bothered anymore so I gave her the "What's the prob with you?" hand gesture and walked away.

Other parts of the day will be continued in the next post...

Today was really much of a roller-coaster ride. Yup. Lots of ups and downs. The academic side of me is experiencing high levels of euphoria BUT the social side of me is feeling down and depressed. So today I decided to write my post in a ROLLER COASTER fashion. LOL...here goes...

//Start of Roller Coaster//

(Engine getting ready to move.)

8.00a.m - Went back to class for Science Lesson all wet and sweaty from running that 1.35km run.... And got back our Science paper marks! Yahoo! I can't believe I got 87.5! And SECOND in class! And I beat ZHU CHENG! YAY! Experiencing A SUPER HIGH level of euphoria!

(Roller coaster goes up track for 500m.)

9.45a.m - Received our EL Compo back. Urgh...it was dissapointing...I got only 27! That's so low compared to Limin who got 35.5! But at least hit average...

(Roller coaster goes down to 200m)

10.45a.m. - Recess. Was playing football when the ball landed before me and I was just before the goal. But I didn't have the courage to tap it in - It would have been my first ever goal. OMG...Daryl kept on blaming me....I feel so discouraged....

(Roller Coaster goes down to 0m)

11.30a.m. - OMG!!!!! MY CL GOT 81.5 out of 90!!!! SO HAPPY!!!! YEAH!!!! It was TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. I BEAT Tee Yong and Zhong Liang by a solitary half mark and a lot of other people to get Second Place in my Class!!!! YAHOO!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!

(Roller Coaster shoots up to 1000m)

1.30a.m. - When we were queing up to go down, Bradley came towards me and told me that RC hated me. That fact I had already known. RC was showing it to everyone. Then Bradley continued his taunting. "RC hates you forever..."

My heart sank like a stone. No more good mood or euphoria.

(Roller Coaster goes down to 500m)

"...and ever..."

I became quite tense and was starting to reflect what did I do wrong to him that day.

(Roller Coaster goes down to 0m)

"...and ever."

Icy cold sweat covered my body within seconds as I brushed aside Bradley, appearing not to take any notice of what he had said.

I act tough, but I'm not. I'm sensitive to what people say.

And when I mean sensitive I mean VERY SENSITIVE. Like Bradley's nose.

(Roller Coaster goes down to -500m)

I was lost. Couldn't find out what to do. I've been trying so hard to please RC but yet... So you know how much it bugged me. Why can't he see the effort I've put ? That I cherish him a lot as a friend? WHY? I might have insulted you or backstabbed you but please tell me? What have I done wrong? Like Bradley, If I had hurted you you should tell me And If I HURTED you I deserved to be punched in the face and be left to die. Why can't you seem to accept?I know I can't change the way you think but YOU do mean a lot to me. A LOT AS a friend. And if you hate me like Shanisse there is nothing I can do. But RC (this applies to Shanisse too) I really cherish you as a friend. I swear that I cherish all my friends. Forgive me if I've been irritating or whatsoever and get over it and start our friendship anew?

Well let's carry on. I don't wish to talk anymore about this.

3.00p.m. - Me Keeve and ZL were sitting near the PE store and chatting mostly about all sort of funny stuff. Well apparently Shanisse sent Keeve a SMS that is pretty sick...(I can'y let all of you know without Keeve's permission) And of course we chatted mostly about that. And about understanding me. LOL Keeve is a very nice person actually.

(Roller Coaster goes up to 100m)

Well after that it was Robotics and it was pretty boring (all about containers) and I went home. But on the way back, I chatted with Sihan. Apparently she and I think Shanisse is a backstabber. Well reasons I can't reveal. I gave Shanisse my word not to humiliate her anymore. So Sorry.

BB I GTG MY DAD IS CALLING ME TO GO TO BED...LOL....

Well I'm back. After a week of exams. LOL. It was kinda intense though.
Guess how much I scored?
EL = 71/95 (not bad...considering the 60/95 i had for SA2 last year)
Math = 94/100 (not bad either....BUT plenty of people got higher than me...for example Justin...)
So NOT BAD is my exam results. BUT. My mum is not satisfied. Guess I have to go through a month-long of intense tution.
Must be wondering how is my relationship with Shanisse now? ANS : Normal Classmates.
Well we talked about everything about humiliating each other and that's the final decision.
Just sad to lose a 'good' friend whom I can talk to. Well. Life carries on.
Also trying to win back RC. Not making any progress though. Sigh...I sure wish he can understands what I'm trying to do...but it's what he thinks...I'm not authorised to change that.
Let's leave all those depressing things behind. So now for a little gossip...
OMG. I just disfigured myself. Yeah. DISFIGURED. When I go to school tomorrow, perharps you can see three scratch marks on my right cheek. Well Go Figure. I'm still recognisable. And the scratch marks can only be seen from a 30cm range...
Well after TWO super depressing days, today at least has some sunshine. I spent the morning playing computer games and then to swim and then for lunch and so on and so forth...
UNTIL Now. I'm blogging and listening to music of course.
I was thinking about what has the prefect council done for the students. Nothing much I guess. But you can't really blame us actually. Mrs Lee and Co. are not responding to our proposals (actually Zhu Cheng's :D:D:D) and PSLE. So? Well at least the school is anticipating the start of the soccer league.
And LM just found out the song SOS by Jonas Brothers. I knew it like 3 months ago? And I don't really like it? But my sis do? So LM, my sis has the same peference of songs like you. She like So Yesterday by Hilary Duff too.
So I just hope tomorrow would be a better day than this horrrible weekend. LOL. But you do seriously wish for a good day after a string of bad ones. So wish me luck! LOL...

Dedications of Songs

Girlfriend - Andrew

The Reason - Shanisse

Incomplete - Daryl

The Black Parade - Keeve

Inconsolable - Carmen (My Domestic Helper)

Where is the Love? - Terrorists out there

Zhuan Shu Tian Shi - Daryl and Shanisse

Happily Never After - Rei Chern

So Depressed. Everything has gone the wrong way from me. Everything is spiralling out of control. I feel so helpless. So now let me start a 'poem', about my problems.



//Start//



Life is all wrong.

Everything is going out of control.

I feel so depressed.

So helpless.

Inconsolable.

School.

Everything is going wild.

Attempts. At popularity.

Doesn't seem to work.

Now. More than before.

Everyone is deserting me.

Friends. True.

Not True at all.

All are fake. None of them are real.

Shanisse.

The girl I was in love with until recently.

Has been giving me the horrible attitude.

I have done her no wrong.

Just because she hates me.

Hates me.

It broke my heart slowly.

Pieces into pieces.

Until there was no more.

Until I stop loving her.

And started hating her.

She posts horrible comments of me.

On her blog.

I could just asked Mrs Loh.

Told her about her blog.

Scribble out of her the truth.

60 words of hate.

See with my own eyes the pain she has caused me.

But I chose not to.

Why?

All beacause of friends.

I don't want to lose a friend like her.

And my other friends too.

Because she is popular.

And I want my friends back.

Forever.

I wish I could start all over again.

Back in kindergarden.

Where we were so innocent then.

And life was simple.

Now for RC.

RC.

The guy whom I blamed wrongly.

Whom I blamed without thinking about what I was saying.

Caused him so much hurt.

My friendship status dropped.

To an all time low.

Why does this have to happen?

Blame it on my foul mouth.

Tape it over with duct tape.

Now I've become his slave.

Carrying his stuff and dropped out of convos.

For the sake of friendship.

It matters to me more than anything else.

And I would never let another tear drop fall.

For his sake.

Daryl.

The guy who is the most popular in class.

The guy who is a true friend to all his friends.

The guy who is handsome.

He sprained his wrist today.

His eyes stained blood red.

Crying. Real.

He only cries when he is in great pain.

And I didn't bother to lend a hand.

At all.

Why?

Because everyone is jeering at me.

Why do I care so much about him?

I know the reason.

But it is absurd.

Unlikely to happen.

Let's move on.

JH.

The friend which had set me up.

Caused me to almost lose RC and Justin as friends.

I don't blame him anymore.

But then he refuses to hear my apologies.

Slam insults in my face.

Happily Never After.

I can only hope for a day.

After the last star has fallen.

The universe has exploded.

For him to be my friend.

The teachers.

Label me as talkative.

Irresponsible.

I don't really care about that anymore.

Friends only matter to me now.

Everything.

Going against me.

My life in a tangle.

Will only be untied.

If people starts to realise and understand who I really am.

And no one understands me at all.

Do You?

I take it as a no.

As I fall into unconciousness...

//End//

LOL Was it emo? I hope not. All I just want is my friends to resolve all the arguments or grudges we have against each other and for me to have true friends. Who can understand me inside out.

Shanisse - I pray that we can still be friends. And understand my behaviour. I really don't want to go to Mrs Loh.

RC - I hope I can work my way up the friendship level. I don't mind doing anything. So long I have the pleasure of you as a friend.

Daryl - The only person I think of now as a true friend. If you want the absurd reason of why I am looking out for you so much, come look for me.

JH - I hope we can resolve all our differences. And start our friendship all over again.

Blank.

D.O.B: 11.04.96
Age: 12 years and counting ):
Horoscope: Aries
School: RI
Class: 1Q
CCA: -

Guitar Hero Wii!
My Laptop!
My Google Phone!

■ Shanisse
■ Limin
■ Bradley
■ Jin Hien
■ Ashburn
■ Gabriel
■ Jin Jie
■ Nick Chua
■ Harry
■ 6J
■ 6K
■ Siew Rong
■ Samuel
■ Sis
■ Matthew Chin
■ Gui An
■ Zhong Liang
■ Ding Han
■ Justin
■ Nigel
■ Nick Jonas
■ Miao Ling
■ Keeve
■ Wei An
■ Wei Sheng
■ Viggy
■ Yu Ming
■ 1Q
■ Matthew
■ Jian Wei
■ Chia Qi