Friday, May 2, 2008.
So Depressed. Everything has gone the wrong way from me. Everything is spiralling out of control. I feel so helpless. So now let me start a 'poem', about my problems.
//Start//
Life is all wrong.
Everything is going out of control.
I feel so depressed.
So helpless.
Inconsolable.
School.
Everything is going wild.
Attempts. At popularity.
Doesn't seem to work.
Now. More than before.
Everyone is deserting me.
Friends. True.
Not True at all.
All are fake. None of them are real.
Shanisse.
The girl I was in love with until recently.
Has been giving me the horrible attitude.
I have done her no wrong.
Just because she hates me.
Hates me.
It broke my heart slowly.
Pieces into pieces.
Until there was no more.
Until I stop loving her.
And started hating her.
She posts horrible comments of me.
On her blog.
I could just asked Mrs Loh.
Told her about her blog.
Scribble out of her the truth.
60 words of hate.
See with my own eyes the pain she has caused me.
But I chose not to.
Why?
All beacause of friends.
I don't want to lose a friend like her.
And my other friends too.
Because she is popular.
And I want my friends back.
Forever.
I wish I could start all over again.
Back in kindergarden.
Where we were so innocent then.
And life was simple.
Now for RC.
RC.
The guy whom I blamed wrongly.
Whom I blamed without thinking about what I was saying.
Caused him so much hurt.
My friendship status dropped.
To an all time low.
Why does this have to happen?
Blame it on my foul mouth.
Tape it over with duct tape.
Now I've become his slave.
Carrying his stuff and dropped out of convos.
For the sake of friendship.
It matters to me more than anything else.
And I would never let another tear drop fall.
For his sake.
Daryl.
The guy who is the most popular in class.
The guy who is a true friend to all his friends.
The guy who is handsome.
He sprained his wrist today.
His eyes stained blood red.
Crying. Real.
He only cries when he is in great pain.
And I didn't bother to lend a hand.
At all.
Why?
Because everyone is jeering at me.
Why do I care so much about him?
I know the reason.
But it is absurd.
Unlikely to happen.
Let's move on.
JH.
The friend which had set me up.
Caused me to almost lose RC and Justin as friends.
I don't blame him anymore.
But then he refuses to hear my apologies.
Slam insults in my face.
Happily Never After.
I can only hope for a day.
After the last star has fallen.
The universe has exploded.
For him to be my friend.
The teachers.
Label me as talkative.
Irresponsible.
I don't really care about that anymore.
Friends only matter to me now.
Everything.
Going against me.
My life in a tangle.
Will only be untied.
If people starts to realise and understand who I really am.
And no one understands me at all.
Do You?
I take it as a no.
As I fall into unconciousness...
//End//
LOL Was it emo? I hope not. All I just want is my friends to resolve all the arguments or grudges we have against each other and for me to have true friends. Who can understand me inside out.
Shanisse - I pray that we can still be friends. And understand my behaviour. I really don't want to go to Mrs Loh.
RC - I hope I can work my way up the friendship level. I don't mind doing anything. So long I have the pleasure of you as a friend.
Daryl - The only person I think of now as a true friend. If you want the absurd reason of why I am looking out for you so much, come look for me.
JH - I hope we can resolve all our differences. And start our friendship all over again.
| 5/02/2008 09:12:00 PM Limited.Resolution.Potential.
